Every reality is bigger on the inside
and monsters don't come from outer
space.
Spoons and no whisks point at you at all
times
eating your eyes off your head,
making an ice cream of your free will,
while you wonder, and worry,
Worry and wonder…
W&W as if a brand of spirits
to drink slow and feel hard,
from the outstretched hand
of the goddess of madness.
Yes. Do. Exterminate.
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I tried not
to write you, this poem, and failed.
I failed,
not writing you into this poem.
And there
you are, bright and clear as annoying dew
frosted at
the top of a flaming sword,
impossible,
but real.
I tried to
fold and push any emotions, tight, into a bundle
of rags
inside my head,
contained,
safe,
in a box squared
with the walls of the real, and it failed,
it failed
to hold it all.
Its walls
imploded for a long second, then fell and
hung in the
air, shaped like the butterflies
they were
trying to kill.
Boxing
emotions is a heavy-weight combat,
I used to
be the world champ of that.
Now I lay
defeated on the ring,
the referee
counting on top of me
as I spit
out the bloody words
with every
second, waiting for the bell:
three, two,
one,
and my
reason becomes nothing,
I control
nothing,
I am
nothing
but a sigh,
a tremor, a surrendering beast
under the
heavy boot
of the
impossible turned to real
that so coolly
defeats me.
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Let's all explore the unknown,
cut
corners, jump fences,
embrace the
strange and the stranger.
The man
that walks with a smile,
shiny like
a billiard ball
bouncing on
corners,
with two
parrots in his arms,
two parrots
on his shoulders.
The lonely
poppy bursting a red heart
in the
middle of a green sea
of rye and
rounded boulders.
Let's check on all the options for bliss,
no stone left down turned.
Joy may
explode, like freaky stars
on the dark
and mute velvety
unexplored
universe's skin.
Sitting on the void of the day, your heavy truth
crushes the daffodils under its weight.
No more game of doubt can be played,
truth is all-blinding,
all-conquering,
sets you free.
So, free you are.
Sitting me, I don't hope the river waves
that were licking my toes and luring
me with promises of little,
of very little,
come back and splash me, accidentally,
anymore.
Words buzz around my head, like bees
annoying and selective
just sting on the days when the void calls,
heavy with truth,
crushing the daffodils under its weight.
You lay down.
Motionless, emotionless
for far too long.
You skin crawling away from
the big
bad
waves
of feeling
crashing down on you,
all curled up
in a kernel of
peace
like a nutshell,
hardened out
around soft you and
holding
only
you,
just to end up
swimming, soaked, in pieces
and scattered.
Now, you are
seaweed
you
are fucked,
your soft bits hang in the waters.
In the sobbing and heaving waves,
sharks dance for no one.
How do you
fight the dark?
Staple
it onto a white paper,
drown
it in ink,
make it
lay bare, flat out with outstretched arms,
capture
it,
licking it
with your brush until it begs for mercy
under the
dire lights of an interrogation lamp.
How do you conquer
the dark?
Spread
it out over silences,
over spiky
chords and notes,
jail it,
behind the
bars of a song,
a handover from your wiser elders.
How do you
make the dark collapse?
Share around its picture, in the open,
outstretched
and nude under the light of a screen,
so that
everyone can see her,
recognize her, pursue her, be warned,
be smitten,
be in love.
It was
never there
But now is gone.
It never
lived
but now is
dead.
Recoil,
crumbling mouth,
melting
ears,
deafened
eyes,
broken
shards oh so soft to the touch.
It was
never there
but beware,
It bit my
heart out.
Hollowed
out, I wander,
hellion and
bird
missing
what did not exist.